So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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