I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
