Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
