there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
