I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
