your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Sorry about my life...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
