Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
