therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
