Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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