Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he thought i was a dude.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We left an ass print on the piano.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
