Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
