If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
