What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
