this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
