Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
