Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
