i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
