i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
