glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
