i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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