Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
