Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
