Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
