i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
