dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
