we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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