mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You are a booty call, not a friend.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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