Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
