I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
