how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
