did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
