idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
