i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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