I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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