after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
