guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
