Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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