How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
