What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We had sex on a dog bed..
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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