I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
