I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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