He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
