I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
