piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
