Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
