Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
