i just google imaged poop.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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