i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
