In the future we'll all be gay
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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