Please, let me fuck your mom
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
