my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
