i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
love makes seman taste better
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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